Help, I'm advertising for OfficeMax for free!!! Whatever. This stuff is fun, so kudos to them for spreading some amusement during the holidays. Check out ElfYourself.com, where we helped George Bush show his true colors as a Secret Teutonic Hitler Elf. Then if you're still pining for "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock", try DontShootYourEyeOut.com. But remember: you'll shoot your eye out, kid. And lastly, decode the subliminal messages in all those familiar Christmas carols at ConspiracyCarols.com.