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Home » Archives » December 2006

Sunday, December 31st

What Do YOU Think?

Since Time voted you person of the Year...
Do you have any thoughts on 2006? Hopes, dreams, plans for 2007?
Post them here...


Posted By: Ian on 12.31.06 @ 10:50 AM EDT [link]


The Obligatory List of 2006 Lists

I searched PhobiaList.com for a word that means "fear of lists" but they didn't have one. Maybe they they have a fear of words that mean fear of lists? What is it with this year-end listing compulsion anyway? It's all so recursive and Ouroborosian. It should also be noted that the compulsion to list things is actually a key symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorders. What does this say about the American psyche? Ah, who cares....on with the listing!

For the ultimate list of 2006 lists, just visit fimoculous.com. At last count they had over 400.

For me, there are a few events from 2006 that I'll probably always remember:

Dick Cheney's (Man)Hunting Accident
William Shatner Selling His Kidney Stone
Mel Gibson Immortalizing the Phrase "Sugar Tits"
Stephen Colbert Skewering Bush (Google Video) at the White House Correspondents Dinner

And a favorite list:

The Pitchfork Media Top 50 Albums of 2006. To tell you the truth, I don't even like their site, but this list helped me zero in on about a dozen artists I'd never heard of or hadn't listened to yet that pretty quickly became some of my favorite new listening material, including (these Amazon links should all have audio samples):

Peter Bjorn And John - Writer's Block

Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass

Phoenix - It's Never Been Like That

Hot Chip - The Warning

Beach House - Beach House

Fujiya & Miyagi - Transparent Things

The Knife - Silent Shout

I may offer up reviews on these later, but for now I'm too busy enjoying them!


Posted By: Ian on 12.31.06 @ 10:45 AM EDT [link]


Saturday, December 30th

Happy Flu Year

Green Eggs & Ham Recipe


Hmmm. All I got for Christmas this year was some bird flu variant that kept me in bed for three solid days. Too bad this miracle vaccine wasn't available. Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow with one last list of lists, and then hopefully on to bigger and better things for the new year. No donations yet, so I really don't know if I'll be renewing the domain. For no particular reason (except maybe that most food looks about that appetizing to me right now) here's a recipe for green eggs and ham.



Posted By: Ian on 12.30.06 @ 09:23 PM EDT [link]


Tuesday, December 26th

Best and Worst of the Best and Worst Lists, Part I

worst_candy (8k image) Yes, it's that time again. Let us save you some misery by wading through the incredibly long list of year end lists for you. First up, our pick for worst worst list: PETA's Annual 'Worst-Dressed' List, where they seem to target Hollywood's most fleshless corpses for wearing corpse-less flesh, like their #2 target Ashley Olsen: "Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead." Our pick for worst Person of the Year List: Time Magazine. Why the hell did they pick YOU? I mean you're spending your time doing things like reading crappy blogs, for cryin' out loud. Our favourite celebrity-related list of 2006: BestWeekEver.tv's 10 Best Celebrity Body Parts of 2006, which includes entries like: "Nicole Richie’s spine. It’s always a little weird when a celebrity is photographed and you can see their spine. Especially when they’re photographed from the front." Have to give it to Forbes for putting my current home town on America's 10 Smartest Cities list though. And if you're making a list of your own, here's Valleywag's Top Ten Rules for a Top Ten List. By the way, although she looks like she's looking at a crumpled up copy of our list, the kid at left is actually from our winner for most annoying acronym for a list, the W.A.T.C.H. (World Against Toys Causing Harm) 10 Worst Toys List.


Posted By: Ian on 12.26.06 @ 09:04 PM EDT [link]


Monday, December 25th

James Brown Lives!






At least on YouTube. Check out the two videos here. The first is a ginormously highlarious TV interview after being released from jail, in which he seems to have been hittin' the pipe pretty hard. The second is LA Story's "James Brown Is Dead" from 1991. Rest in Peace, JB.





Posted By: Ian on 12.25.06 @ 11:30 AM EDT [link]


Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas





In honour of those who do, here's a Harvey Danger video of the same name (you may remember them for the hit Flagpole Sitta - 3.2MB mp3). For those who don't work today (or do but are lucky enough to have web access), here are 101 Christmas videos you can watch online, including the communist propaganda film It's a Wonderful Life .




Posted By: Ian on 12.25.06 @ 05:32 AM EDT [link]


Sunday, December 24th

Yule Never Believe This...

xmas_booty (12k image) Just want to wish all of you who celebrate Christmas a nice one. Hope you get everything you want, both spiritually and materially. For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas, give me a call. Maybe we can go out for Thai or something. The last Christmas I really enjoyed was the one in the picture on the left, where I got to wear my Army shirt without some Liberal Elitist yelling at me, and the pile of presents was bigger than me! Me, I just wish Jesus would come back if he's gonna. Dude, most of us stop making a big deal out of our birthdays when we're like thirty, and we've celebrated yours for two millenia...maybe if you came back all these crazies that run things would step off the mat for awhile! Anyway, not belittling anyone's faith. At least not any more than I belittle my own. There's room for a little Buddhist, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Fakir, Wiccan, Sub-Genius, and just about everything else in my heart. Including greedy capitalist. Here's my Amazon Wishlist from 2004. I just added a MacBook and a couple digital SLRs. Show me the love.


Posted By: Ian on 12.24.06 @ 07:47 AM EDT [link]


Saturday, December 23rd

A Festive Feeling, An Aluminum Pole...

happy_festivus03 (12k image)




...every day is Festivus at Deja Vu! Once again, I'm out of the loop because I've only seen two episodes of Seinfeld. Why didn't anyone tell me about Festivus Day? I'm gonna run right out and buy a pole, but I'm going to add a little twist.







Posted By: Ian on 12.23.06 @ 09:48 AM EDT [link]


Friday, December 22nd

If You Want Something Done Right...

global_ani (10k image)

...do it yourself. That may be stoicism on my part, as yes, I had to go solo on Global Orgasm Day*. Perhaps that's more information than you really wanted. Ah well. Anyway, thanks to all the inevitable end-of-year lists (in this case Pitchfork Media's 50 best of 2006), I have Fujiya & Miyagi's Transparent Things to comfort me. On my first 20 listens (that was just yesterday & today) they sound kind of like Pinback meets Ian Dury meets Wire with Gang of Four's rhythm section after a few bong hits.



*Why can't every day be Global Orgasm Day?




Posted By: Ian on 12.22.06 @ 08:27 PM EDT [link]


Thursday, December 21st

Give a Man a Fish, and He'll Eat for a Day, Give a Manatee...

manatee_sm (10k image)...a web site, and he'll get 3 million visitors the first day. More proof that the YouTubes will kill the BoobTube: Apparently Conan O'Brien used a toss off line about a web site called hornymanatee.com on his show the other night, prompting NBC to buy the domain before someone took advantage of the on-air mention. This inspired Conan's staff to create an actual site for viewers to visit, with lots of "hot man-on-manatee action". In a final "blow" (Heh. I said "blow") to television's dwindling power (or at least its growing interdependence with the web) Andy Samdberg then attempted to get more mileage out of the whole thing by linking it to the SNL "Dick in a Box" phenomena (which many people like myself would've never seen without YouTube), by showing "Fan Art" he'd done of him and the Manatee with their man(atee)hood in gift-wrapped boxes.


Posted By: Ian on 12.21.06 @ 07:56 PM EDT [link]


Wednesday, December 20th

Holy Prepuce Batman, Pornaments Are Ruining Christmas!


frosty_pornament (7k image)



Did you know that Jesus' Foreskin (for some reason I feel obligated to capitalize it...) may have been stolen by the Catholic church? Read more on Slate, and for background, see the Wikipedia entry for Holy Prepuce. (Sort of) related: a church group in Florida is protesting Spencer's Gifts for selling "pornaments" like the one pictured at left. "Thumpety thump thump, Look at Frosty go" indeed.






Posted By: Ian on 12.20.06 @ 10:08 PM EDT [link]


Tuesday, December 19th

What CAN'T You Stick In Your USB Port?



So many people asked me about the USB Humping Dog (by e-mail, why doesn't anybody comment around here?) that I went on a mad search for weird USB gizmos. If you think your new USB memory stick is cool, maybe you'd like a USB Pole Dancer. Or a George Foreman USB iGrill. After you make your burger, you can warm your buns, and later relax with your Super 10 function USB Vibrator.




Posted By: Ian on 12.19.06 @ 11:25 PM EDT [link]


Monday, December 18th

Wanna Fight? I Don't Think You Have The (Snow)Balls...

snowcraft (6k image)




An oldie but goodie. Snowcraft.






Posted By: Ian on 12.18.06 @ 10:30 PM EDT [link]


Sunday, December 17th

Merry ChristMax

bush_elf (13k image)



Help, I'm advertising for OfficeMax for free!!! Whatever. This stuff is fun, so kudos to them for spreading some amusement during the holidays. Check out ElfYourself.com, where we helped George Bush show his true colors as a Secret Teutonic Hitler Elf. Then if you're still pining for "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock", try DontShootYourEyeOut.com. But remember: you'll shoot your eye out, kid. And lastly, decode the subliminal messages in all those familiar Christmas carols at ConspiracyCarols.com.



Posted By: Ian on 12.17.06 @ 10:54 PM EDT [link]


Saturday, December 16th

Chappy Chanukkah

hanukkah_bush (15k image)


I often feel stupid for not knowing when my friends' holidays are, but this year a Jewish friend of mine thanked me for asking, because she never remembers unless she checks the calendar herself. As I researched what Hanukkah was all about ( I couldn't remember what the eight days/eight candles thing represented) I ran across a list that reminded me we pretty much wouldn't have western culture as we think of it without Jewish people. Check out FamousHeebz.com. You may be surprised if you dig down into the various categories. Of course Adam Sandler's there, so here's the obligatory link to The Hanukkah Song (mp3, 3.6MB). If you want to learn more about Hanukkah, of course there's Wikipedia, but this page on Koach.org was informative too, with tidbits like "Hanukkah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.". And by the way, Jews didn't kill your saviour, but Disney's out to kill Santa.



Posted By: Ian on 12.16.06 @ 09:44 PM EDT [link]


Friday, December 15th

How 'bout I BreakYourFace.com

cantbuymelove (11k image)
Remember that kid you knew in grade school who had an imaginary friend? Well I think he got his imaginary friend a job. Check out FakeYourSpace.com. In their words: "FakeYourSpace is an exciting new service that enables normal everyday people like me and you to have Hot friends on popular social networking sites such as MySpace and FaceBook." Wow. I can finally have some HAWT friends. Sign me up. On the other hand, if you have TOO MANY friends, try BreakYourSpace.com, where, as they point out: "Other break up services out there are charging around $50.00 to do what we do for $.99. At this price you most likely can even afford to break up with multiple people!" Just click the button.



Posted By: Ian on 12.15.06 @ 08:12 PM EDT [link]


Thursday, December 14th

TheirSpace, Not MySpace





Don't take that headline wrong. The site's name - Koolanoo - literally means "all of us". Which they then pretty quickly suggest means "All of us who are Jewish". Check out their (ahem) "viral marketing" ad on the left. Is it an ad for Koolanoo.com, or a recruitment video for Mossad? You decide. More on Jewish-only social networking sites here.







Posted By: Ian on 12.14.06 @ 10:18 PM EDT [link]


Wednesday, December 13th

Any Port In A Storm

lap_dog (7k image)

Especially if it's a USB port. How could you consider your life complete without a USB-powered laptop-humping dog? And, it's only ¥998! I can't read Japanese, but as far as I can tell, this little puppy does nothing but hump your USB port. Hours of fun for the whole family! Well, maybe not, but I'm sure it would at least break up the monotony of board meetings faster than Buzzword Bingo though. See a movie of the little bugger in action here. And for a non-USB version, try Humphrey the Humping Dog



Posted By: Ian on 12.13.06 @ 09:47 PM EDT [link]


Tuesday, December 12th

Oedipus Wreck -or- Why I'm Never Using MySpace Again

anne_atkins150 (6k image) Dude. You know that hot chick you met on MySpace? IT'S YER MOM! Seems Anne Atkins of Oxford thought it would somehow be a good idea to connect with her son Ben "TheMightyWidge" Atkins on Bebo, posing as a 17 year old named Lucy "Cheshakitten" Haliday. YIKES. To add insult to injury, she wrote about it for the Daily Mail and now all his mates are posting comments on his mom's fake page like: Tom "T0M-180" Bingham, who says: "haha I just read your article while duin a shit and made me larf you son is gullablllllllllle! Anyway if ya wana deleate dis comment rememba 2 pres da delete button!" I wonder if the trauma Ben has experienced is in any way connected with the recent Ipswich "Ripper" style murders? To his credit, Ben appears to be keeping his head; a recent post reads "Mumsie dearest, do you think you could please stop using bebo now. You don't have an excuse any more and it's just a tad disturbing. Ben"


Posted By: Ian on 12.12.06 @ 10:24 PM EDT [link]


Monday, December 11th

Don't Be A Who-Hatin' Scrooge


Just in case you're feeling a bit Grinchy or Dickensian this year, I've got more incredibly negative holiday links for you. Check out this redubbed ending for the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Would've been more fun if the guy had actually tried to sound a bit more like Linus, but oh well. He does a pretty good job of pointing out what an idiot Charlie Brown was, and summing up the angst of a generation. More dubbed Christmas specials here. And a special treat for those of you who find yourself propelled into a paralyzing depression by the whole Charlie Brown christmas thing: here's Christmas Time Is Here (2.6MB, mp3), the creepy kid's song they use in the special (thanks Pamela, for reminding me of how just how creepy it actually is).



Posted By: Ian on 12.11.06 @ 10:34 PM EDT [link]


Sunday, December 10th

Lawrence of Antarctica





Wow! Penguins! Snow! The last time I saw an epic this grand, this moving, it was Peter O'Toole! Sand! Seriously though, if you haven't seen March of the Penguins because you thought it would be Winged Migration minus the "Winged", reconsider. Mind-blowing nature cinematography, and great narration by Morgan Freeman. And plus, it's great for all ages too!






Posted By: Ian on 12.10.06 @ 06:45 PM EDT [link]


Saturday, December 9th

Tough Times For Santa

santa_cruz (12k image)

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have kids. I'm no prude, but I really wouldn't want my kids seeing stuff like this, and have no idea how parents deal with it. Anyway, I was trying to think of a clever phrase to link to an article about the Canadian artist that crucified Santa as a statement about excess (something involving "Santa Cruz" or something), but Metro.co.uk "nailed" it: Crucified Santa Makes Some Cross. Elsewhere, Santa stars in a claymation video about a tragic love triangle involving reindeer, elves, and saviours, all set to a parodied R Kelly tune. See Trapped in the CLAUSet parts I, II, and III (YouTube links). Sample lyric: "I said 'ho', I said 'ho', and then 'ho'. Cuz that's what you say when you're Santa, you say 'ho' three times in a row".




Posted By: Ian on 12.09.06 @ 08:40 PM EDT [link]


Friday, December 8th

But Does It Come With A Linus Blanky?

charlie_brown_tree2 (9k image)



To this day, A Charlie Brown Christmas can give me a serious case of the warm fuzzies. A lot of it of course, had to do with the poor little tree. I always feel bad when I secretly tear a branch from my neighbor's living tree to recreate the effect, so maybe this year I'll buy a Charlie Brown Pathetic Tree from Urban Outfitters. Or not.






Posted By: Ian on 12.08.06 @ 10:04 PM EDT [link]


Thursday, December 7th

Santastic Mashups

santastic240 (17k image)



I was messing with some Christmas themes on my keyboard the other day, thinking "Damn, I wish I'd thought of this in November; I'd save SO MUCH MONEY by sending a CD out as a combination holiday card/holiday gift. Well, djBC and friends may have saved me the trouble. Check out Santastic II: Clausome, a bunch of Xmas mashups from djBC and friends. I have Lenlow's ¿Dónde Está Santa Claus? (5.7MB, mp3) on infinite repeat until December 26, and A plus D's Give Da Jew Girl Toys (5.2MB, mp3) on until Santa actually gives da Jew girls toys. If you like the mashups (or maybe even if you don't!) they have a Give page HERE where you can donate to worthy charities. Jingle bell rock!





Posted By: Ian on 12.07.06 @ 08:06 PM EDT [link]


Wednesday, December 6th

Mind If I Smoke?



No, mind if I fart? About ten years ago I joked with a friend that anti-drug commercials should be funny, not preachy. We envisioned a kid saying things like "I don't want your crack. Your crack stinks!" At the time the idea seemed over-the-top. The Ad Council's Don't Pass Gas campaign is the first thing I've seen in the way of PSA's that might kind of work. Or maybe not. Anyway, "passing gas" may not be funny, whether in a car or at dinner. But farts are ALWAYS funny. Especially when preachers fart. Have I provided enough fart linkage here? No? Then make your own fart, or get all academic and learn about farts from Wikipedia.



Posted By: Ian on 12.06.06 @ 10:59 PM EDT [link]


Tuesday, December 5th

Merry Christmas! HoHo.....GAAAHHHH!


scary_santa2 (15k image)





Many people find clowns scary, but I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep on Christmas Eve knowing that the freakish creature to the left may be coming down my chimney. More Scary Santa pictures here. I think this one and this one would have to be my favorites. For more on why you should be afraid of Santa, see this Grumbles Chistmas comic, or watch the first few minutes of The City of Lost Children.






Posted By: Ian on 12.05.06 @ 10:34 PM EDT [link]


Monday, December 4th

That Actually Would Be A Coup....



commodore_bananarama (9k image)

The Commodores and Bananarama?!? Oh. You said Commodore Bainimarama!!!








Posted By: Ian on 12.04.06 @ 10:35 PM EDT [link]


Sunday, December 3rd

Before You Dig Out Those Christmas CD's...



If I didn't live in dreary Ann Arbor, Michigan, I'd have to move to dreary Portland, Oregon. At least they churn out some decent bands (er, nothing personal Ann Arbor people...I just don't see any of you distributing your stuff much farther than the local bars). Anyway, after a few weeks of listening to Pinback, the past week I've been listening to the Decemberists (thanks Eric & Jeremy). If you haven't checked them out, get on it. In spite of constant suggestions that they're some kind of alterno-folk band, nothing could be farther from the truth in my opinion. I won't try to classify them, but for a band that met in a Turkish bath, drink only Orangina, and travel exclusively via Dr. Herring's Brand® Dirigible Balloons, the Decemberists are pretty hip. Hip enough to incur Stephen Colbert's wrath, anyway. Colbert accused them of ripping off his greenscreen challenge (YouTube clip HERE) and proceeded to challenge viewers to edit him into THEIR greenscreen challenge, adding "see how well they perform their trademark brand of hyper-literate prog rock when I'm slicing off their legs at the knee!"



Posted By: Ian on 12.03.06 @ 09:42 PM EDT [link]


Saturday, December 2nd

Shadow Art Fair


If you live in the Detroit/Ann Arbor area, hope you didn't miss the Shadow Art Fair this weekend. I got to meet cool indy artists like Studio Rob & Dirty Bros, run into old friends like Cherie of Shadow Charms & John of Roosroast, see art by people I admire like Helen Gotlib, and discover things I SHOULD have known about like Dreamland Theater.

FUN FUN FUN!


Posted By: Ian on 12.02.06 @ 11:48 PM EDT [link]


Friday, December 1st

Why Google When You Can Ogle?

03 (14k image)


Tired of the stripped-down efficiency of searches on Google? Would you prefer that an attractive Dutch/Indian actress makes annoying comments while you search? You might want to try MsDewey, a new search product from Microsoft. This kind of thing might actually catch on...beats Microsoft Bob, anyway.





Posted By: Ian on 12.01.06 @ 11:38 PM EDT [link]