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02/23/2005:"Sex is for Fags"

Thanks to the White House Office of Youth Purity, you need never have sex again. If you're a boy, visit Sex is for Fags. A testimonial:

My body is a sacred place, for holy stuff like Capri Sun juices, Lunchable Chicken Dunks, and Slim Jims (I like to snap into them!)

If you're a girl, there's Iron Hymen, which will help you make sure your "baby cave is better guarded than a maximum security prison".

Having trouble understanding the Bush agenda? Let Right-Wing Ralphie of the Magical Ownership Society explain it all. And he's not gay!