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Home » Archives » June 2005

Monday, June 27th

Just Another Manic Monday

For those weirdos we call the Supreme Court, anyway. This Metafilter post does a nice round-up of the insanity. To summarize:

Sharing is Bad, Greed is Good
Never Take The Fifth
Invest In Comcast, Not Brand X
The Ten Commandments Are Bad
(But you can still swear on a bible that you're telling the truth)

Who elects these geezers, anyway? Doh. I forgot. THEY elect the POLITICIANS....

Posted By: Ian on 06.27.05 @ 11:50 AM EDT [link]

Monday, June 20th

Busier Than Bill O'Reilly's Damage Control Team

Well, yes, I've been busy (see previous post), and the site suffers...but not too busy to post our visitor e-mail, if it's amusing. Received a rather misdirected e-mail (fourteen copies of it, actually) from an apparent fan of Bill O'Reilly:

Mr. O'Reilly,
TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD TOO MUCH KOOL-AID...... Mr. O'Reilly makes a DAMN good point with EVERY story that he follows!!! If there were only more of him around...THE WORLD WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER PLACE!!!!!!!

Daylene Auer
Waterford, MI

Jeez Daylene, you don't need to hit the "send" button FOURTEEN TIMES. You also needn't CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING. Maybe you should shut off your Comcast account. I think it's contributing to your impaired brain function. After you've stared at the blank screen for awhile, head on down to the Waterford library (if there is such a thing) and check out some books. Make sure one of them is "E-mail For Dummies". You might also look up some punctuation rules. Given your writing style and taste in media figures, I'd almost believe you accidently hit the "send" button fourteen times. However, if you did so intentionally, be aware that we will inform your ISP (Comcast) of your abusive e-mail behavior. Spamming is a felony, you know.

P.S. Give my best to your falafel friend, Bill. He never replies to our calls or e-mails.

Posted By: Ian on 06.20.05 @ 09:04 PM EDT [link]

Thursday, June 9th

"Sorry. I've been really busy...."

Do you know anybody who's always telling you how busy they are? Do you get sick of them telling you how busy they are, like it's some kind of cross they're bearing for the rest of us? Who isn't busy? Let me tell you how busy I am. I'm:

Busier than a bricklayer in Beirut.
Busier than a billygoat with two peckers.
Busier than a bullshit shovel in a used car lot. (I made that one up myself!)
Busier than a three-tailed cat in a rockin' chair store.
Busier than a one-armed paperhanger with a case o' hives.
Busier than a one-legged cat buryin' a turd on a frozen pond.
Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest.
Busier than a French politician at an ass-kissin' convention.
Busier than a hooker on a trooptrain.
Busier than a cranberry merchant in November.

Are you that busy? This might be another lame excuse for not posting, if it weren't for the fact that we (I) won't be posting AT ALL soon. Blogging, whatever that was, is very clearly passe, and the few hundred people that view this page each day have only left two comments in six months. How is that fun?

We'll be completely redesigning the site soon, and saying goodbye to the bloggy-woggy. Feel free to post your yeas or nays here. There might not be a new post for a while unless Terry finds his password (I'm not telling him what it is) and decides to go nuts.

Posted By: Ian on 06.09.05 @ 09:14 AM EDT [link]

Friday, June 3rd

Bonsai Potato? Gesundheit!

If you're into Bonsai, but tired of the same old stupid trees, maybe you just need some embellishments. If the tree thing just doesn't do it for you at all, try Potato Bonsai or Bonsai Kittens. Me, I've always been partial to Buckaroo Banzai

Who knows. Maybe your work will inspire a Mooku which is apparently what passes for haiku in Wisconsin, "America's Dairyland".

You leyden with blogs
you get up with cheese
just ask the dairy lama

Posted By: Ian on 06.03.05 @ 12:39 AM EDT [link]

Thursday, June 2nd

Jumping the Shark Jumps the Shark

I said back in February that blogging was dead. Apparently agrees, and they've even made a commemorative trucker hat. According to a variety of sources (I'm not going to cite them; because of linkrot, the links will be gone by the time you read this):

1.) The number of internet users has increased worldwide by 146% since 2000.
2.) The number of blogs on line doubles every five months
3.) A new blog is created every 5.8 seconds

Your fifteen minutes of fame has been reduced to about six seconds, and in five months, that'll be THREE seconds. Jumping the shark itself has jumped the shark. There's even a Wikipedia entry for it. My bet for the next big thing? UNPLUGGING. Now all I have to do is find the time to burn the 15,000 song files and print the 8,372 photos and 14,011 e-mails on my computer. Then I'll jot down all the numbers in my home phone, cell phone, and computer address book, just in case. I'll make all my phone calls from the three payphones left in town, and if people far away want to know what's up, they can write me a letter....

Or is this all just an elaborate excuse for not posting daily? Hmm.

Posted By: Ian on 06.02.05 @ 08:08 AM EDT [link]

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