The Liberal Elitist - The New Electoral College, and How To Buy It

"I'd Vote Democrat, But I'm Too Rich - I'm Republican, But Don't Nuke My Whale"

Vol I, Number V- December, 2000

It's Over...
(More or Less)

President-Elect Mini Me

We're leaving the clock running for now, though. When there are this many lawyers and politicians involved, one never knows where things will end up. Until the actual inauguration, we're leaving the options open. In the meantime, we'd like to introduce you to

The New Electoral College:

GW Giving The New Electoral College Their Christmas Bonuses

Also Available in
Pocket-Size Version:

Perhaps the first Supreme Court in history that easily fits in a candidate's pocket.

We're not going on record as saying there was any hanky-panky going on here, but if this were all taking place in say, Cuba, there'd be no doubt whatsoever in anyone's mind that if the son of the former director of the nations largest intelligence agency (there's some irony for ya) were running for president, and had a brother who was the head of state in one of the lower divisions of said nation, well, let's not be too naiive, okay? Frankly, we're more concerned about what stunts were being pulled off overseas while the media in general had their microscopes up the you-know-what of the Florida political scene.

On the bright side, we're sure many American Citizens have learned more about the Electoral Process, and which lawyers not to hire.

But Who Would Want To Win, Anyway...

Doesn't the "Court-Appointed-President-Elect" know about the Twenty Year Curse?

1840 - William Henry Harrison
Pneumonia. [1841]
1860 - Abraham Lincoln
Assassinated.[1865]
1880 - James Garfield
Assassinated [1881]
1900 - William McKinley
Assassinated [1901]
1920 - Warren Harding
Heart failure [1923]
1940 - Franklin Roosevelt
Brain hemorrhage [1945]
1960 - John Kennedy
Assassinated [1963]
1980 - Ronald Reagan
Shot and wounded. [1981]

Apparently, GW was so eager to win that he tried stopping Russians from voting too...

But Seriously...
(More or Less)

We're only half-joking. This election, which began as a centrist, "try to please all and end up pleasing no-one" media-spin nightmare, ended up a debacle of an illusionary democracy, one which seems only to exist in the priveledged, college edu-ma-cated (in the lingo of our new president) minds of those who can afford to manipulate the media, the law, and the various branches of the government, which essentially have been reduced to tools of the entitled.

GW Pays The Rent

This may be the last humor/parody installment of the "Liberal-Elitist". The site's editorial fascists are stepping in soon to make some changes. It's been fun. Don't forget to send us more scathing e-mails. We live for it:

The Liberal Elitist