2002, A Space Anomaly
Terry predicts 100% failure of the GWB-43
unit in 2003
So, last year terrorists struck American soil,
and this year the American Government has waged war with anyone
it doesn't agree with. Baby Bush is picking up his father's legacy
and going after Saddam, (even though there isn't much reason or
logic for it beyond his desire to control Iraq's oil.) Texans and
their fucking oil. 2002 is the year I blinked and everyone lost
their minds. The Republicans managed to get their fingers in more
of the pie and the Democrats continued to nod and wag their tails
for President Bush. (Luckily one tough Democrat called Bush on is
Bullshit, and John Kerry instantly won my vote for 2004.)
Music continued to suck, Britney bombed, bringing her appearance
in Playboy closer to reality. Eminem came back, "now go away
again!" Bjork released a "greatest hits" record;
I started to listen to heavy metal again, (
Godsmack fucking rules, dude!) However as I write this, I'm
Electric Light Orchestra, (hey, I can't get it out of my head,
nor do I want to.)
Movies were actually pretty good this year. "
The Salton Sea" was amazing, especially Val Kilmer's performance.
I reviewed almost one hundred porn movies to pay the bills, and
wonder if I might soon go blind. The best movies went unnoticed
or largely unappreciated, as usual, like "
Reign of Fire", and "
Signs ". Tarantino got back to work and will give us "Kill
Bill" next year, and sequels to "The Matrix" and
"Charlie's Angels" will ensure a smile for me for most
of next year. Mickey Rourke will soon knock Tom Cruise out of the
spotlight and become the huge star he has been waiting to become
to the public, (OK, that part is just wishful thinking on my part.)
Television was pretty good too. "Curb Your Enthusiasm, "Alias"
and investigative reporting held my attention. If you believed the
news, children were being abducted every day and terrorists were
hiding in our gardens. (According to CNN, George W. Bush, is actually
a sensitive and deeply intelligent man.) The former mayor of New
York is a hero for doing what anyone would have, but as far as I'm
concerned, he's still the same conservative, adulterous hypocrite
who drove the spark from NYC. How are young women supposed to pay
for college if they can't strip for money? Fuck Giuliani and all
the idiot, looney-tunes who worship him.
2002 was also the year you couldn't oppose the government, but it
seemed like the best time in history to do it, and do something
about this wave of greed, corruption, and selfishness that has done
far more damage than the terrorists ever could have. We don't need
to fight Muslim fundamentalists; we need to fight these corporate
assholes who are turning us all into their mindless, consumer-slaves.
Prescott Bush was in league with the Nazis during WW2, George Bush
Sr. was head of the C.I.A for seven years and was in charge of a
lot of nasty shit, and I seem to remember another idiot Bush involved
in something called the "S&L" scandal, but who keeps
track of this empire of criminals? Not voters, that's for sure.
So, what do I anticipate for 2003? The fall of the Bush Empire of
evil, greed and ignorance. Another Cheney heart attack, (Bush will
ask Jesus Christ to be his Vice-President.) Brad Pitt and Kirsten
Dunst will get even hotter, and www.echopraxia.org
will be the most visited web site on the Internet.
Osama Bin Laden will still be wandering the mountains, a lonely
fanatic waging a war that isn't too far from that of our own President's.
Simple minds think alike.
My mission for 2003 is pretty simple, while we're on the subject.
I'm going to stop letting it all bother me so much. Politics and
business have been in bed together longer than peanut butter has
been extra creamy. Now that they have the media in their pocket,
what's the point? Americans will always believe everything their
told as long as you wave the flag in front of them and whisper the
national anthem in their ears. Happy Holidays everyone!