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Wednesday, February 28th
How To Invade Boston With Mere Breadcrumbs
Okay, a few days off this week and I'm back with a post like this? My apologies. Anyway, after devising our dastardly plan for invading Boston, I think the Chinese may beat us to it. But instead of using battery-powered toys, they're going to use pigeons and rats. I make light of this, but in fact find it really disturbing. It's bad enough we create machines to do all the weird and inhumane things we do, but do we really need to create cyborg mammals?
Posted By: Ian on 02.28.07 @ 01:06
PM EDT [link]
Sunday, February 25th
Can't We Just Delete It?
Please DO NOT click on the YouTube video on the left that clearly and simply explains the concepts of Net Neutrality. Even though it's from SaveTheInternet.com, it clearly won't save the Internet, because thanks to people like you clicking on videos just like it, the INTERNET IS FULL. (Please note ironic presence of videos in linked article.)
Posted By: Ian on 02.25.07 @ 04:31
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Saturday, February 24th
Wow...
As someone who's definitely had my own ups and downs with substance abuse and going a little crazy, the recent media hubbub over Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears made me a little queasy, more than anything. I don't watch TV, so I actually had no idea that Craig Ferguson had replaced Craig Kilborn as the host of the Late Late Show, but this YouTube clip from the show blew me away. If more media people could talk about their disease/condition as honestly and comfortably as Ferguson does in his frank and civilized monologue, maybe the media could focus on things that actually matter.
Posted By: Ian on 02.24.07 @ 01:31
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Wednesday, February 21st
Fearmongering For Fun & Profit
Remember when the Red Cross was a symbol of humanitarianism and rescue from calamity? Well, they don't want you to forget. At least the calamity part, anyway. In a new billboard ad campaign in New York, they're setting the date for the next big terror attack on the U.S.: November 9th 2009. That's 11/9. Get it? Did these cats hire the White House PR department or what? (Totally unrelated: if you're driving a Mustang all the billboards look like this.)
Posted By: Ian on 02.21.07 @ 07:59
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Tuesday, February 20th
More Technology We Might Not Need...
While on a routine web shopping trip to find a Chicken-Scented Bubble Machine for my imaginary dog, I ran across something much more intriguing: Racing British Grannies! Much more stylish than their American counterparts . Plus, they'd probably be happy to help with your Boston invasion plans.
Posted By: Ian on 02.20.07 @ 02:13
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Monday, February 19th
Lucifer, you got some 'splainin' to do...
That's one of the better lines from Mr. Deity, a series of shorts on YouTube right now that features the creator of the universe as a heavy set guy with a sort of "Bay Area Media Industry Chic". I especially enjoyed Episode 2, Mr Deity and the Really Big Favor, in which Jesus (as he's receiving his assignment to go down to Earth, live a sinless life, and then get crucified) reasonably asks questions like "And sir, why can't you just forgive people again?"
Posted By: Ian on 02.19.07 @ 07:06
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Sunday, February 18th
Post Historic Retro Futures
I've always been fascinated with the idea of what future archaeologists would make of contemporary life. Images like the one at left, or maybe Elena Filatova's images of Chernobyl capture an eerie feeling of what the present might look like from the future. We can watch Reversible Destiny Lofts become Feitsuiwan Desolation Row. Koert van Mensvoort captures the idea with this image and in his book Next Nature : "Our established view of 'nature' needs reconsideration. The notions of nature and culture are trading places. Products of culture, which we used to be in control of, tend to outgrow us and become autonomous. The natural powers shift to another field. Nature changes along with us."
Posted By: Ian on 02.18.07 @ 08:48
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Saturday, February 17th
How To Invade Boston For Under $200.00
As an American of mostly British descent, I've often wondered what America might be like if the British had won. Well maybe it's time for another tea party. Given the effectiveness of Lite-Brites in shutting down Boston, I imagine a full-scale invasion could be accomplished with about two-hundred bucks worth of toys: the Snap Circuits RC Rover and the Elenco OWI-8606 Turbo 3000 for ground forces, the Snap Circuits Fyling Saucer for aerial recon, and the Elenco MR-1007 QuadroBotz Kit and Elenco MR-1004 Hydrazoid Kit for alien-invasion Psych-Ops. Throw in the Zero Blaster Opaque Silver for crowd control and the Snap Circuits Space Battle and the DangerBomb Clock for general mayhem and you've got a party!
Posted By: Ian on 02.17.07 @ 12:47
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Friday, February 16th
What Would A Ninja Do?
Nothing. At least not until he consulted his What Would A Ninja Do Deluxe Spin Folder. One thing I love about the Internet is how it occasionally makes me realize I NEED something I didn't even know EXISTED the moment before. You know, like Corn Dog Air Freshener or Uncle Oinker's Gummy Bacon. They claim this page has their weirdest products, but I think that award might go to this page.
Posted By: Ian on 02.16.07 @ 06:45
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Thursday, February 15th
We Have All Bean Here Before
If you've never checked out the Ann Arbor Film Festival, this might be the year to do it, if only so you can have a cup of our friend John Roos' coffee, the Official Coffee of the Ann Arbor Film Festival. Congrats little Johnny, you've come a long way since the days when you hand roasted each bean with a blow-dryer! To get an idea of the effect Roosroast coffee can have on you, check out the YouTube video on the left. That's John himself after like, 2 cups I think.
Posted By: Ian on 02.15.07 @ 06:27
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Wednesday, February 14th
Gimme Some Sugar Baby
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Posted By: Ian on 02.14.07 @ 06:26
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Tuesday, February 13th
Real Tiny Cities, Tiny Real Cities
Most peculiar. While some people spend all their time making tiny cities that are remarkably realistic, others spend all their time making real cities look unrealistic. That first link is the Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg Germany, the second is to a radio-controlled airplane club that takes aerial images and Photoshops them using this method to make them look like miniatures. This image is a great example of the latter.
Posted By: Ian on 02.13.07 @ 08:04
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Monday, February 12th
Oscar Wieners
 ♫ I wish you were an Oscar Torrent leecher ♫ That is what I truly wish you'd be ♫ 'cause if you were an Oscar Torrent leecher ♫ Everyone would download fast like me...'cause Oscar Torrents have a way ♫ of messing with the MPAA ♫ Or, as the site owners put it: "To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you -- but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we're only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn't us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping. You haven't beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn't involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can't keep a film in focus -- not to mention insulting your audiences by (to pick a few examples) surveilling us with nightvision glasses, searching bags, 30 minutes of commercials and bombarding us with ridiculous anti-piracy propaganda. Take a look at yourselves. Is it really any wonder we're winning?"
Posted By: Ian on 02.12.07 @ 02:07
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Sunday, February 11th
And Next You're Gonna Tell Me There's a Pill For Impotence
Ever worry about life? Feel tense, restless, or fatigued? Ever been concerned about your weight, noticed signs of aging, or felt stress at work? Ever find activities you used to enjoy, like shopping, challenging? You may have Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder (DSACDAD). Don't worry though, there's a solution. Try Havidol. For those times when more is not enough.
Posted By: Ian on 02.11.07 @ 06:07
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Saturday, February 10th
Getting Joost Up
In a wonderfully ironic twist, Joost V.P. David Clark pitches their recently beta-launched product in the YouTube clip on the left. Joost is the latest thing from Kazaa and Skype creators Janus Friis and Niklas Zennström. Watch out GooTube, these guys may have figured out that little monetizing problem! Some of the content will be user-generated, but they're building strong relationships with companies like Warner prior to launching, so you won't have to search dozens of clips to find that T.V. clip that may get a takedown order the next day. There will be commercials, but they're planning as little as one minute per hour, and that minute will be targeted by your location, time of day, viewing habits, and opt-in profile information. It may actually be for something you want to know about, and knowing how to target their material may make advertisers create better ads.
Posted By: Ian on 02.10.07 @ 07:00
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Friday, February 9th
Donald Rumsfeld's Press Conference Skills
The video on the left (direct YouTube link here) is a powerful example of Rumsfeld's comfort with dismissing questions from the press. While it was kind of creepy knowing he was actually a government-approved commodity, I have to admit I miss the Rummy's macabre yet goofy press conference attitude. I've referenced his remark from a February, 2002 briefing so many times that I can now recite it without missing a beat: "As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."
Posted By: Ian on 02.09.07 @ 07:40
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Thursday, February 8th
Upwardly Mobile Homes
Wealthy? Bored with your McMansion? Show your friends how hip and lowbrow you can really be by moving into a rich man's trailer park. Somehow it sounds less trashy when you call it a Glassic Soho, but it's never been easy being a Bobo/Fauxhemian, has it? Seriously though, the designer - Christopher Deam - has been involved in some interesting design projects, in spite of the fact that the manufacturer really does build trailers (ahem) mobile homes. More interesting mobile building stuff here, if you're interested.
Posted By: Ian on 02.08.07 @ 06:08
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Wednesday, February 7th
When I Was A Kid They Were Shaped Like Horseys...
...and they cost a quarter to ride. Steve Jobs is gonna be upset when he realizes he forgot to trademark another important "iName". Check out the iJoy Ride. This is so weird, it could only be real. Be sure to watch the video, in which that guy is looking WAAAYYY too happy (but then, maybe he's just remembering being a kid). Jeez. What next, an iToilet? Oh. Never mind.
Posted By: Ian on 02.07.07 @ 06:45
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Tuesday, February 6th
Turner's Marketing Strategy is Da Bomb
The challenge: You have a crazy animated show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force". You want to build your brand, but the name is hard to remember, especially because the show doesn't really involve water, teens, hunger, or force. Worse yet, the movie set for wide release in theaters is called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres". What do you do? Well, the $28,000.00 Virgin Mary on Toast trick has already been used by GoldenPalace.com, so go make yourself some LED Throwies and paralyze Boston. Total cost of campaign: $2,000,000.00. Not bad, when you consider a 30-second Super Bowl spot goes for 2.5 million.
Posted By: Ian on 02.06.07 @ 08:02
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Monday, February 5th
For All Our Boston Readers, Part II
Most unfortunate that someone was injured, but for the benefit of local officials in Boston, this is a real bomb incident. The biggest differences you'll notice are that someone got hurt, and something blew up. Additional useful info: that image on the left is a bomb as well, but if you see one of those don't bother trying to disarm it with a firehose or a bomb squad.
Posted By: Ian on 02.05.07 @ 06:30
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Sunday, February 4th
For All Our Boston Readers
That image on the left might not be a just a ball cap. As explained in the Hoax Devices Catalogue: "At first glance this may look like a typical embroidered baseball cap, but if you look a little closer you will see that in fact, it's 'Da Bomb'. Further inspection shows it to be identical in every way to a baseball cap so if you didn't know it was a bomb by the clear labeling you'd easily confuse it for a baseball cap. Definitely not FAA approved." Please do not confuse this item with other terror devices like DA BOMB Ground Zero Hot Sauce or Talk to La Bomb , an ingenious encryption device that can only be read by spinning very rapidly while carefully aligning a tiny laser.
Posted By: Ian on 02.04.07 @ 07:10
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Saturday, February 3rd
Where's Johnny Cochran When You Need Him?
It was tragic enough that Elmo and Mr Incredible got themselves arrested a couple of years ago, but now Chewbacca's in trouble too. I wonder if he'll use the Chewbacca Defense (YouTube link*)? I don't know if it will help. As you can see on the left, Elmo and Mr Incredible were beheaded for their actions, their disembodied heads left brazenly on the hood of a cop car for all to see. My only question is: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor in L.A.?
(That YouTube link that may be gone soon because of Viacom's ruthless takedown demands. Wikipedia entry here, if you've never heard of the Chewbacca defense)
Posted By: Ian on 02.03.07 @ 08:16
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Friday, February 2nd
I Feel Like I've Posted This Before
Posted By: Ian on 02.02.07 @ 02:54
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Thursday, February 1st
Hasbro Releases Do-It-Yourself Terror Kit
 
Now you can paralyze entire cities for just 14.99! Really, when imaginary creatures called Mooninites can practically shut down an American city, is it maybe time we took a closer look at our fears? Or maybe it's legitimate. Mooninites with names Ignignokt who consider the Earth THEIR moon do say things like "The explosion shall be of extraordinary magnitude. Just hang on". See for yourself.
Posted By: Ian on 02.01.07 @ 12:17
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